When you find out a guy is crushing on you, it can feel very flattering. You may even notice that your self-esteem suddenly skyrockets.

On the other hand, finding out that someone doesn’t like you, especially if you have a crush, can be tough to swallow. You may feel stressed, you may feel confused, and you may start to feel like there’s something wrong with you, even though you’re still the same amazing person you were yesterday.

Building and maintaining self-esteem that comes from within—not from how other people view you—will make you a happier, healthier person in the long run.

You might think of self-esteem as how much you like yourself, and that is an important part. But the truth is, self-esteem is all about being able to handle the tough times and create change in your life when you need it. There are four key ingredients to high self-esteem:

Self-Confidence & Security: This is the confidence in knowing that you have your basic needs met. You know that each day, you have a place to sleep, your health, and enough money in the bank.

Identity: This is understanding and loving yourself, just as you are. Having a sense of identity could mean that you respect and embrace your own goals, passions, beliefs, culture, sexuality, gender, and even your body.

Belonging: When you have a high sense of belonging, you feel respected and invested in the groups you’re a part of. This could be your work group, your friends, your family, or even clubs and sports.

Self-Efficacy: This refers to your ability to make and handle big changes in your life. When you know you have the strength to handle what life throws at you, to handle your workload, and to learn from the mistakes you make—you feel a sense of accomplishment and security.

Once you have these on lock, you’ll become a more centered, resilient person. Whether or not your crush likes you back won’t make or break your confidence.