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how to make friends in your 20s

how to make friends in your 20s

You’ve graduated college, moved, started a new job, and even though you know you should feel happy, you’re just lonely. Taylor Swift said it best: Your 20s are all about feeling “pathetic and magical,” but where’s the magical part? We know how difficult the transition to the adult world can be, and we’re here to help. In this article, we will tell you some easy and fun ways to make friends in your 20s. Keep reading to learn how you can take the initiative and have the friend group of your dreams.

This article is based on an interview with Tracy Rogers, our Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer.


[Edit]Enroll in a class.

  1. Following a passion or learning a new skill can help you find friends. After college, it can be a little difficult to follow a routine that isn’t structured around school. People with similar interests used to sit around you in class, but who’s to say you can’t have the same in your 20s? Sign up for a local fitness, cooking or crafting class.[1]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • For example, if you like to write or read, visit the library to see if they have any writing classes or book talks going on.
    • Following your curiosities can lead you to forever friendships – it goes without saying that you’ll learn something new in the process!

[Edit]Join a local club.

  1. Common interests are one of the best ways to make friends. From book clubs to soccer clubs, there is something for everyone. Follow your interests and curiosities because you never know what kind of other like-minded people you’ll meet.[2]
    make friends in your 20th step 2.jpg
    • You can find local clubs online through Facebook and Meetup.com.
    • All you have to do is search for the hobby you’re interested in and a quick search for your location.
    • Pay attention to bulletin boards when you’re out and about. Some clubs and organizations will hang flyers around town for upcoming meetings and events.

[Edit]Attend local events and concerts.

  1. Meet people with similar interests by going out and having fun. Think about it. The people you most want to hang out with are probably where you want to hang out. Check social media and local newspapers to see what’s happening in your city. You can also find live concerts, a farmers market, and even a theater show.[3]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 3.jpg
    • Don’t be afraid to go to events alone! This might inspire you to talk to someone. Who knows? Asking for directions can make new friends.
    • If you attend an event by yourself, make sure someone you trust knows where you are. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

[Edit]Talk to your co-workers.

  1. You probably talk to your co-workers on a daily basis—why not befriend them? Lean into a coworker you vibe with, regardless of their age, and see where it takes you. Maybe invite them out for coffee or ask about a picture on their desk. Taking the time to show that you care about getting to know someone can do wonders for developing a lasting friendship.[4]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 4.jpg
    • Compliments can go a long way, so don’t be afraid to compliment her on the way she dresses, acts, or even her taste in music.
    • You can say something like, “I love your sweater! Where did you get that?” or “You are very organized. Any tips for a stationary hog like me?”
    • Just remember to be yourself, and friends will move on with time.

[Edit]Put yourself out there on social media.

  1. Bumble, Instagram, and Facebook will be your BFFs for finding a BFF. Posting about your desire to make friends won’t make you look desperate—it’ll attract others to feel the same way! Comment on people’s posts and send DMs to put yourself out there and take a chance.[5]
    make friends in your 20s step 5 version 2.jpg
    • Try texting them something like, “See you were in town recently. Got any food recommendations?” or “I love that bar! Are you going to open mic night?”
    • Your 20s can be difficult, but know that you are not alone in feeling the challenges of change!
    • Be vulnerable and vocalize your feelings. It just might lead you to your newest best friend.

[Edit]Say “yes” more often.

  1. Opening yourself up to new opportunities is a great way to make friends. How will you grow if you say “no” to absolutely everything? Take chances and say “yes” to everything – within reason, of course. For example, if coworkers are going out to lunch, try a new burger joint with them. The more you say “yes,” the more opportunities you’ll have to bond with others.[6]
    make friends in your 20th step 6.jpg
    • Friendship depends on closeness and trustworthiness.
    • If you’re known to be that person who is depressed about almost anything, you’ll be asked to hang out more often.
    • Just remember to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything, but it’s important to safely step out of your comfort zone when trying to make friends.

[Edit]Volunteer for a cause you care about.

  1. Find like-minded people by volunteering in your area. Volunteering is a great way to put yourself out there and help the community. Not only can you meet new people, but you can also learn more about local causes and the general area. Who knows? You may find your future BFF while stocking the soup kitchen.[7]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 7.jpg
    • Check out your town’s social media or talk to neighbors to see if there are any volunteer opportunities nearby.
    • You can also do a quick online search for “volunteer”. [insert name of town],

[Edit]Introduce yourself to familiar faces.

  1. A conversation with an acquaintance can add new life to the friendship. There are places you frequent every week or so in your life: the gym, the coffee shop, the local grocery store, the dog park, etc. Maybe you smile or wave when you see them, but why not take the next step and introduce yourself? You just might make a new friend.[8]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 8.jpg
    • Start with a general compliment or statement like, “You always put the right amount of sugar in my coffee!” Or, “I love your leggings! Where did you get them?”
    • Then, introduce yourself and ask for their name.
    • Now, whenever you see them, you can say hello by their name and start even more conversations.

[Edit]Ask friends to introduce you to their friends.

  1. Mutual friends can help jump-start your social life. If you’re moving to a new location, reach out to friends, family members or social media followers to see if they have any connections. Ask if they have any friends in town so they’ll be down to introduce you IRL or on social media.[9]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 9.jpg
    • This is a great little trick if you’re a little nervous about finding friends for yourself. You trust your friend’s judgment, so their friend could easily be your friend!
    • Think of it like writing a resume, only you’re hoping to impress a friend rather than a future employer.

[Edit]Chat with your partner’s friends.

  1. Your partner may also have friends that you hang out with as well. If you have a partner, hang out with their friend group. This can be especially helpful if you’re going to live with your partner or move to their part of town. Ask him if you can all hang out for a night – go bowling, see a movie, or grab a bite to eat. You may find peace in a group of friends you already know.[10]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 10.jpg
    • Your partner can act as a buffer if you get anxious when meeting new people. You can prop them up if things get too awkward!

[Edit]Follow up with people you meet.

  1. Consistency is key when it comes to making friends as an adult. You have a busy life, and your potential new friend probably does too. After hanging out with someone new, ask for their number or social media handle. That way, you can invite them again or simply check in on them.[11]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 11.jpg
    • Let him know that you are interested in his life by commenting on his social media posts.
    • Send them a text and ask them if they want to grab coffee or do some shopping over the weekend.
    • Try not to think too much. Type your message, and hit send. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself out there.[12]

[Edit]Set aside time for friendship.

  1. Make space in your routine to connect with friends. Whether old or new, your friends need just as much attention as you do. Spending time together, online or IRL, will strengthen your friendship and prove that you’re reliable. Hence, “How you doing?” Send Text or schedule a weekly or monthly appointment.[13]
    make friends in your 20th step 12.jpg
    • The effort you make to be friends will help maintain your friendship, especially as you grow and change.
    • If you feel renewed and happy after hanging out with someone, then they’re worth making time for! A true friend is someone you want to spend time with because they make you feel good inside and out.[14]
    • Try setting up a specific time that you and a friend can catch up every so many weeks. That way, you can write it down on your calendar and have something to look forward to.

[Edit]Learn to love your own company.

  1. Confidence is key to navigating friendships in your 20s. There are ups and downs when it comes to finding new friends, and it’s important that you build a solid relationship with yourself first. Finding security and being kind to yourself can help you move forward when things feel a little lonely.[15]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 13.jpg
    • Remember that you are not alone in feeling this way. You will find your people with time; just keep pressing
    • Stick to your routine, attend classes, go to events, and live your best life. You’d be surprised at what the unexpected can throw at you when you’re sure of yourself.

[Edit]Be patient.

  1. Making friends takes time, especially with your new adult life. I wish you couldn’t go to sleep one night and wake up with a handful of friends by your side—boy, it would be nice if it were that easy! But being patient and being persistent is part of the fun. Friendship takes work, and as long as you keep trying, you’ll find the right people.[16]
    Make Friends in Your 20s Step 14.jpg
    • Keep showing up even when you feel low.
    • Put yourself out there because you never know when that best friend might be around the corner.
    • Change doesn’t happen overnight, and instead of feeling discouraged, take each day as a new opportunity to develop the life and friends you seek.[17]


  1. [v161230_b01], 6 January 2020.
  2. [v161230_b01], 6 January 2020.
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
  4. https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html
  5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
  6. https://stylecaster.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/
  7. https://www.vogue.com/article/how-do-adults-make-new-friends
  8. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
  9. https://stylecaster.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/
  10. https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html
  11. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/
  12. [v161075_b01], 11 April 2019.
  13. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/
  14. [v161075_b01], 11 April 2019.
  15. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
  16. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201908/the-secret-making-friends-adult
  17. [v161230_b01], 6 January 2020.


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